Glad to Be a Mom (GTBAM)

...when I see our toy kitchen sink looking like this.

No dishwasher in this toy kitchen.

I just have to shake my head and laugh.

We will just ignore the fact that children learn by example - and that my own sink also looks like this half of the time. Ok?  Ok.  :)

Just Because.

It's hard to believe, but Abby is turning 11 months tomorrow! She is in that funny in-between stage, where she is super active (always standing, cruising, climbing and crawling) but not quite walking, so it is really frustrating for her to go to public places like the playground and library, since there's no place for her to roam free.

I was cuddling with her in the rocking chair before her afternoon nap, when it struck me.  My kids are growing up.  It's one of those things that sneaks up on you, while you are wishing away those difficult stages like teething or spitting up every 10 minutes.

And then, suddenly, you just look at them and they look so grown-up to you.

Little big guy.

As they grow, I sometimes get nostalgic for the days when I could just hold them forever and take in their newborn scent and tickle their teeny tiny feet, and they would just give a contented sigh and sleep, sleep, sleep in my arms.

Yet, somehow this makes it all the more special when they come and sit with their mama these days.  Not just because they need something or because I make them do it...but because they choose to.  

He grabbed a blanket and crawled into my lap, announcing, "Sit with umma."

And my heart promptly melted.

I love when they come just to find rest, comfort, and enjoyment from being with me.  

I love when they sit with me solely to show me that they love me and to receive love from me.

Can't get enough of her giggles :)

And today, as I loved on my little girl and received her onslaught of kisses and giggles, I think I heard God whisper, "I love it too."

I know everyone says this, but I am learning so much about the Father's heart from being a parent myself.  When Jonathan was just learning to talk, I would coach him to say things like, "I love you!" And when I asked, "How much?" He would answer, "So much!"  It cracked me up and warmed my heart...but it is nothing compared to these days, when he comes up to me and, unprompted, tells me that he loves me.

When we were little, we were taught to tell God how much we loved Him and to thank Him for everything.  I believe God loves any time His children come to Him, but it can't compare to how it delights and honors our Father's heart when we sincerely express our love and our gratitude.  When we come to Him - not with an agenda or out of desperate need or out of habit before a meal - but simply to find rest in Him.  To love Him and receive His love.

I've always thought the sweetest reason for sending flowers was "just because."  Now I believe it is the best reason for spending time with God.  

Just because.

A Tribute

This morning I received the sad news that a former coworker of mine recently passed.  Although Mrs. Luby had been battling cancer for the past seven months, it still came as a huge shock.  Just about six weeks ago, I had taken the kids to visit her.  She did mention that this was the time she felt strongest - right before another round of chemo - but she also just seemed like her usual sweet and friendly self.

In the classroom, she had been one that I always looked up to in my profession.  She taught Pre-K and had the patience of a saint, an extremely creative mind, and a sincere love for children.  I think the little four year olds could sense her love for them and immediately felt at ease in their new school environment.  All of my kindergarten and first grade students who'd been in her class adored her.  I always loved to see the glimmer of excitement in her eye as she told me about her latest activity with the kids or the progress one of her students was making.  She was the teacher I hoped to be one day.

Wherever she went, she made a difference.  Our school is in a rough area, so she took the initiative every spring to get on her hands and knees to dig in the dirt and plant beautiful blooms that brightened up our school entrance.  Even though, year after year, the plants were inevitably trampled on and the flower buds picked, she persevered in this effort to bring beauty into an area that otherwise might have been dismissed as hopeless.

My son Jonathan loves people, but there is always a warm-up period when he meets someone new.  Not so with Mrs. Luby.  She came outside to meet us when we arrived at her house for a visit and offered to help bring things inside.  I asked if she wouldn't mind leading Jonathan up the steep steps to her house, temporarily forgetting about his shyness around new people.  Knowing her gentle personality, however, I should not have been surprised when he clasped her hand without hesitation or fear and walked up the steps with confidence.

Once inside, Jonathan quickly made himself at home, befriending their sweet dog, and playing with all of the toys that Mrs. Luby offered him.  I had been a little nervous about my kids making too much of a mess or making too much noise, but Mrs. Luby simply smiled and fondly commented that Jonathan reminded her so much of her dear grandson, who is around Jonathan's age.  She had a way of putting adults at ease, too.

In the few hours I spent chatting with her, I was so encouraged by her life stories and determination to live a full life.  She was sick, yes, but extremely hopeful.  She told me how she had spent her life teaching at all different levels, including the collegiate level, and had signed on at our school to teach Pre-K because she wanted to finish her teaching years working with the age group she enjoyed most.  This was supposed to have been her final year before retirement.

I was also challenged by Mrs. Luby's selflessness, even in sickness.  She served us homemade zucchini bread and, the following week, she sent me a thank you card for the flowers we had brought.  She proudly showed me a manila envelope full of homemade cards from a class of third graders in our school.  Many of them had been in her class for Pre-K and she marveled at their creativity and academic progress.  Even though she was still undergoing medical treatment, she shared with me plans to write individual replies to this group of third graders and collaborate with their teacher to provide cross-curricular writing prompts in the future letters they exchanged, so their teacher could also use the letters as grades.

It was unthinkable.

But I believe, for her, it was simply natural - to keep loving kids and looking for opportunities to do what she did best - teach.  There was no time to feel sorry for herself.

Today I asked Jonathan if he remembered Mrs. Luby.  He did.  I guess someone this special leaves a lasting mark on a 2.5 year old's memory.  He told me about her dog and the blocks he'd played with.  I showed him a picture I had taken of them and he remembered reading the book about dogs together.

I am so thankful to have known such a beautiful person as Mrs. Luby.  I am even more thankful for that precious morning in January in which she opened up her heart and home to me and my two babies.  I will always treasure her words of wisdom and the stories shared.

Rest in peace, Mrs. Luby.  We miss you... Heaven is so lucky to have you.

Where I Work

On a whim, I decided last Saturday to join a photo challenge for the month of March.  Nothing fancy - just my camera phone and a small way to stretch my creativity on a regular basis.  (Here is the photo challenge I'm doing. You can view my photos on instagram)

Today's challenge had me thinking.  The prompt was "where I work," and being a SAHM, this could mean so many different things.  My original thought to pinpoint the specific location where I get the most done.

The entire house?  The laundry room?  The kitchen island is where I spend a lot of my day, making lists, preparing meals and feeding my family.  I even thought about my bed, which is where I usually tackle my crafting projects late into the night (bless Aug's soul for putting up with my craft clutter!).

This is what I chose.

This rocker, though only a few years old, has racked up a good number of miles.  It's where I put up my weary feet as a nervous yet excited mama-to-be.

It's where, as a brand-new mommy, I rocked my newborn to sleep while reading stacks upon stacks of parenting books.  It's the one seat that I've warmed at all hours of the day and night.

It's where the kids and I share secret giggles and silent, inside jokes - the kind where all I have to do is look at them and we both break out in hysterical laughter.  It's the place where, if Jonathan sees me holding Abby, he will drop everything to climb in my lap, too, for cozy cuddles.

In this chair, I rock, feed, comfort, talk with, sing to, and pray over my babies.

It may not be the place where I get the most "work" done, but it's the place where my most important work is done.  Sowing into the lives of these little ones that I have been entrusted to raise and love.

This is where I work.

What She Does All the Live-Long Day [wordless wednesday]

Verses for a Snowy Day

It's a beautifully frosted snow day today, which means that all four of us are at home!  Abby and I admired the snow from the cozy indoors, but someone else couldn't wait to jump in and help shovel.

just call me the michelin man...

I savor these moments :)

He helped out by eating the snow and making sure there was a fresh pile atop the tires :)

The two squirts are currently tucked away for nap time, so it's the perfect time to continue posting some memory verse cards.  (See here for the first installment)

Such challenging verses!  Praying they encourage you today :)

Mother Hens

My babies are extremely blessed to grow up with not just two sets of grandparents, but four!

In Korean culture, family terms are flexible - close family friends are referred to as aunts/uncles and anyone older is called "older brother/older sister." 

These four ladies - or mother hens, as I affectionately call them - are such an inspiration to me.  They have been close friends for about 40 years...loving, supporting, and praying for one another as they each chose a life of mission, got married, became a mom, and now a grandma :)

Life hasn't always been easy for them, but they have been faithful in all things..and have been there for one another through thick and thin.

I am so grateful to have grown up under their love and care...and my heart is happy when I see my children being showered with their love as well.

I want to be this beautiful in thirty years!